"In Heaven"

[I] Sunday Midnight, October 30, 2011...

Opening my laptop after attending my high school mate's wedding, I turned back a music video (MV) told by my friend, Boteh. It's a Korean MV with my current favorite artist performance (from 'Running Man' reality show) playing a role as the video clip model. Its title is "In Heaven" - JYJ.

I firstly opened this MV at the afternoon. At the beginning, I just enjoyed watching my actress' acting. After hearing it over and over, I started getting curious with the meaning behind the video. Yet since I had to go already for the wedding, I finally got the chance to answer my curiosity at Sunday midnight around 12 AM.

And here is some review I found out:

"We see Junsu (the man) at a corporate meeting where his girlfriend gives him a call. She’s full of emotion, her eyes full of sadness. Because this meeting is important to Junsu, he glances at the phone and ignores the call.
 

When the call is missed, we see that the phone background is of falling raindrops, like the tears that stream down her face. Symbolism much? Distracted, lost in thought, Song Ji Hyo (the woman)  meanders into the street when she is struck by an oncoming car.

Fast forward a few years. 

Junsu seems to be still struggling with Song Ji Hyo’s passing and seems to regret what has transpired. But the viewer soon sees that the surroundings have changed and that all of a sudden, Song Ji Hyo is at his front door as if nothing has happened. It’s actually Junsu’s second chance. 

Not too soon after, the day of Song Ji Hyo’s death approaches and we see that Song Ji Hyo has left her phone on the counter, which means that Junsu’s warning is useless. He runs out of his meeting, deciding that this time, he will go to her instead of ignoring her. Good thing too – she’s about to be struck by yet another car. In the end, we both see them sitting on a bench in what seems to be “heaven”

This video was composed by one of JYJ member, Jaejoong, to show that everyone has a feelings of regret. Recently, one of well-known Korean actor, Park Yong Hwa, has just committed suicide. The day before, he called this Jaejoong to go out for a drink, yet since Jaejoong was in the US for recording, he had to decline the offer and delayed it until he got back. and dedicated to a Korean artist who just committed suicide. Unfortunately, he was unable to make good on the offer as the next day....

[II] Monday morning, October 31, 2011..

One of the most difficult morning I have ever lived. Around 6:30 AM, I was awaken after my phone rang and showed Zikril's name. I ignored it and went to bathroom. Back from there, checked my BB and got 7 BBM and 4 groups. Something's wrong.
At that moment, I, we, got shocking vile news about the death of Dipo Ardiansyah, my college friend, my lab mate, my basketball team member, my brother. I couldn't believe that news and I didn't want to believe it. I was shivering for quite a long time. I wasn't able to sleep anymore and all mixed feelings blended into hot n cold. He just passed away on 11:10 PM yesterday, an hour from when I figured out the meaning of the video.

Knowing that he got car accident just like in that MV and I haven't even got the chance to talk a lot with him for the past few months, it's really hard for me. As my conversation going along with his best friend who is in Netherlands nowadays...

E: "Yes.. But, we've gotta be strong"

L: "But that's just a theory, Do. He's a good human-being. He's my best friend. We're always schooling together since High School... and, now he's gone."

I feel terribly awful today. I remembered how Dipo once joked with me that he never got invited to be in any video for friends. Thou he laughed at that time, I feel really sorry n regretful for that. I am sorry, Po... Memories of me and him kept flashing. The image of his face in that accident kept depicted in my mind. Even, looking at his wife, Loli, and pictures of him & his daughter was truly mournful.

This is my first time losing someone who's really really close to me. I knew I wouldn't be able to strong enough to hold my tears for this occasion, thus I usually preferred not to think about it... Until at the end, today I understand this quote: "We understand death only after it has placed its hands on someone we love." My eyes got red many times today. Not only me, but also all of us couldn't hold our sorrow to lose and to let Dipo go away from our lives.

However, in the fullness of time, What we have once enjoyed together, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes part of us... You and your spirit will always live highly in us. Thank you for being such an inspiration for us and for me personally. I will always remember...... 

• How FUNNY Dipo is.
  I really loved his joking about our friends. He often forgot them, yet confidently tried to convince me that he knew those people / events.
  • When he mentioned one of our veiled woman friend's hair was curly, 
  • When he asked for 1000x "sorry" writing as punishment on ospek, 
  • When he often pulled me away from crowd and asked me "where is that YYY working now?",  "is ZZZ married already?",  "has WWW graduated?", or even "who is that person's name, doo???"
  I do believe you will cherish and make more people hold their stomach and cry out laughing aloud in Heaven :]
• How INTELLIGENT Dipo is.
  Thou we frequently had different way of thinking, Dipo was one of the smartest man I've ever known. I knew this man since year 1 already and I did understand how smart he was. His expertise in Operational Research really made me amazed. His ideas were brilliant, and.... crazy a bit. :) Yet, he did know what he wanted and lot of passion put in his effort. I'm sure you won't stop learning in Heaven :]
• How TALENTS-GIFTED Dipo is.
  Sports! Any kind of sports... he can excel on them! 
• All TI04 knows how dangerous this guy was in futsal. He could dance around us easily and scored an easy goal by a soft touch. He could even do it with fat belly on his stomach!
• Oooh, oooh! Remember how many sports coordinator competed to put Dipo in their team for ITB olympiad?! SADIIIISSS!!! No one knows how great he was in badminton til out-of-nowhere he became the 2nd best in ITB!
• And, I won't and I can't forget on how we're working together in basketball team, passing through hard times altogether. Even last week, on my way to Bandung with Ben (one of the basketball team member), we talked about Dipo how sober he was after our first final defeat. I still remembered how I tried to get him back into the team for our last championship, even by persuading her girlfriend (now her wife). How desperately I need this guy's amazing talent. He came and we did win a lot, just a bad luck spared us from 1st champ. It was a great experience to train Dipo. You're my best Shooting Guard, dude! Keep the "Deer Jump" and "Killing Shoot" while you're playing in Heaven :]
• How CARING & SOCIAL Dipo is.
  He taught me (& my friends) a lot about caring & sharing. He cared his family so much, his friends so badly, and his surroundings so thoughtfully. I can't remember how many times he told me how hard people's life was. He loved teaching and sharing. He's very passionate every time our lab had sharing session and tutorial. And, I just knew he did work as lecturer recently for Operational Research (news from Ben). He loved cherishing me in bad times. He's such a life-proof of "Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me for sure.... That's what Friends Are for. In good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forever more..." cos, that's what Dipo is for. Keep making a better world in Heaven, Po :]

[III] Tuesday Late Night, October 31, 2011.

 

" In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here (in heaven)"

(Angel - Sarah McLachlan)

Words won't be able to describe our missing on you, Po. It just relieved me a bit. But, you will always stay in my and our heart. Now, you're already in the arms of the angel. Our prayers always be with you, Loli, Keysa and family.
I promised I'll try my best to involve you this time in the video. I'm sure you'll be happy to watch it from Heaven and gotta be a lot of fun, Pooo!!!! :)

Meanwhile, Po...just wait and Rest in Peace yaa... Be good in Heaven =)

Godspeed,

Edo